turning-30_m

I am turning 30 soon and it has scared the pants off me for a long time thinking about it. I’m a thinker. I overthink, over analyse and worry that’s who I am, it’s only great :).

As I reach closer to the time of the next decade of my life I have spent alot of time (you guessed it) thinking about my life at this point and my goals. I am not where I thought I would be, not in the slightest. I always did well in school without having to try too hard and so I suppose I just assumed life would be somewhat easy when I grew up and became an adult. Things didn’t really turn out like that. I’ve spent many years trying to find a career and something I could be proud of. I have a relationship that I am proud of, he has been the one constant in my life (for a long time), that has kept me going. Life has some crazy turns both good and bad.

I am a smart arse, I sometimes talk before I think, I make alot of mistakes, I have more of a male sense of humour ( I am the only girl of 3). When I am shy or nervous I use humour to cover it up or I just close up completely and try to hide.

I am by no means perfect. And I am critical of that all of the time. I don’t have a perfect figure, perfect hair,perfect skin, I would deem myself average in alot of categories both physically and in my capabilities.

I enjoy my own company, but I don’t like to do things out of my comfort zone on my own, I find it hard to make plans and stick to them, I can be lazy, I can be selfish, I have a temper, I am brutal at small talk the list is endless and it’s not one I am proud of πŸ™‚

The reason I sat down to babble though is because I have realised that just because I am not the definition of perfect doesn’t mean I don’t matter, doesn’t mean my opinion or feelings are not important. We are all important, we are also important to someone. We have people who loves us for who we are warts and all. We should embrace this and feel free in this environment instead of trying to make the people who don’t matter like us. I have spent big chunks of my life doing that. Not everyone will like you in life, we have to come to terms with it. I know it’s hard, believe me and I am not writing this because I have the antidote, I just wanted to write it to say you are not alone.

We can all feel alone at times even when we are surrounded by people. I know I can forget to live in the moment because I am so worried about what is going to happen in the future. Sometimes I have to be snapped out of it and told to cop onto myself…he does that alot πŸ™‚

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My goals for my 30’s is to take more chances, see more things, love the people who love me more, spend time with them, but most of all love and be proud of myself…flaws and all, because I matter!

I know this blog is for makeup and beauty products and I love these things because they make us feel better about ourselves, more confident, but it doesn’t define us. We define us! Don’t let anyone let you feel inferior. You are amazing! You won’t always believe it but you are πŸ™‚

xxx

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